Menopausal Moments of a Southern-Fried-Baby-Boomin Belle!
A guy was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for his dog and was in line to check out.
A woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
Supposedly on impulse, he told her no, he was starting The Purina Diet again, although he probably shouldn't because he'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that he lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He continued, telling her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Little Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with this guy's story, particularly a tall guy behind him.
Horrified, this lady asked if he'd been poisoned and was that why he was in the hospital.
He said, No....he'd been sitting in the street licking his balls and a car hit him.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.