Tuesday, July 11, 2006

North Korea Unveils "Dalongdong"

North Korea is threatening to unleash a new missile on the United States. Pyongyang calls it the 'Dalongdong' and swears they can get this one up successfully. It's an apparent attempt to make up for the miserable failure of its Taepodong missile earlier last week. The name 'Dalongdong' comes from a mythical one-eyed giant snake in Korean folklore.

CIA officials said recent intelligence coming out of North Korea makes mention of 'Dalongdong' but they have only been able to guess at its capabilities. "Whatever it is we know they're pretty damn proud of it because they're keeping it concealed under some sort of rubber protective coating that our spy satellites have been unable to pierce", said a unidentified CIA official. "It may just be a revised version of the Taepodong III which we know has a history of premature launch problems', the source said. Most missiles have a countdown of at least ten before launch but they say the Taepodong has a history of firing off early, usually by the count of four or five.

The CIA said they've briefed the President on the possible range and payload capability of the 'Dalongdong'. Tony Snow, the White House press secretary, said the President reacted to the news of this new threat by demanding that Kim Jong Il "tuck that shirt in and start acting right". The advice from the President's inner circle must be having an effect on him. He was advised to treat Kim Il as a spoiled child and to not react to this latest temper tantrum. Snow said the President was considering the possibility of 'taking a switch' to Kim Jong.

Source: Shelby Trial

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