Monday, February 27, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
That's My Boy!
|A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through his semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his Daddy. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Ole Blue how to talk!"|
"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program"? "Just send him down here with $1000", the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000 and about 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class. " His father sends the money. The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with
that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
Need a bit of humor?
|A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answercame to his repeated knocks at the door. |
Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message,"Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked."