Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
|EVER WONDER .... |
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Only In America
|Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. |
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke!
Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Might Be In A Redneck Church if......
|. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.|
2. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
4. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)
6. The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
8. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
10. The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
11. The collection plates are really hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.
12. Instead of a bell; you are called to service by a duck call.
13. The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14. The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink."
15. "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
16. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah."
Source: Some Yankee
Thursday, August 03, 2006
|With much mainstream rhetoric about Mel Gibson and his alleged boozed up anti-semitism, let's face it, although I'm very sympathetic to Israel, the man did not lie. Jews and Arabs have been waltzing to this same old song since the beginning of time, and I'm absolutely certain that no political think-tank, or UN Circus, is going to stop it.|
The world is condemning Israel and the world fails to see that this is exactly what Iran and Syria want. Why else would they have provoked Israel? Why hasn't Hezbollah been condemned for using women and children as human shields?
Anyone that thinks Israel is guilty of inhumanities.....isn't in tune with current events!
Anyone who has read, "Bury Me Standing," the best-selling gypsy history will find a treasure of living history in the gypsy culture. The gypsies have a long history in Europe. It is estimated that they left India as a group of nomads around 900 a.d. reaching Persia in 950 and Petit Egypt 1230.
By 1370 the gypsies, or GITANs as they are called in France, were totally enslaved in Romania. They arrived in Stes. Maries-de-la-Mer in 1438 and Spain in 1539. While most of the family groups still speak a mix of Romanian and Sanskrit, those from Spain speak Spanish , and get this...why do they speak spanish?
The Catholics cut out their tongues during the Inquisition so they couldn’t speak Romanian.
That's just the tip of the iceberg...the "Witches Hammer", which is the bible of the inquisition, details a large amount of information concerning the Catholic Church and it's methods of exacting confessions from women and children.
Israel is defending it's right as a sovereign nation, If I were a Lebanese, I think I would be getting the hell out of the way!!